


Restless

by Angel_made_of_scars



Series: Leading Into A Life [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive Behavior, Abusive Parent, Anxiety, Aspergers, Aspie!Chuck, Autism, Caring Family, Emetophobia, F/M, M/M, Matt Cohen As Michael, Panic Attacks, Restraints
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 23:11:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7660798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_made_of_scars/pseuds/Angel_made_of_scars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas has trouble sleeping after the call. Not because he's upset, but because he can't stop thinking. Maybe it's excitement.</p><p>Please read the tags and be cautious. Naomi is fucked up.</p><p>Idea for this chapter of the series came from the amazing Castielchester. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Restless

**Author's Note:**

> As you may know, it's been a while since I've written. I've been having mental health problems that I don't wish to go into too much detail about, but I have been trying to get back into writing slowly, not taking on whole stories at once, instead going in sections.  
> I KNOW this isn't my best work, but my dear friend helped me come up with the idea long before my issues, and I've been working on it since. I hope you can enjoy it for what it is. A continuation of the story, and a little background into Castiel. :)

Dean blinked awake at one thirty in the morning to a ringing phone. Cas sat up and covered his ears sleepily, but Dean was instantly alert. What if its Sam? What if it's Bobby? What if it's Mom?

"Hello?"

_"Hi, uh, is this Dean?"_

"Yeah, who is this? Is something wrong?" Dean asked quickly.

_"No! No, sorry. You sound like I woke you up, did I wake you up?"_

"Yeah, actually. Again, who is this?" Dean asked. Cas looked towards him from his bed, now more alert.

 _"I'm really sorry. I didn't even think about the time difference. My name's Michael, I got your phone number from Gabriel- Novak? You know him, right?"_   Michael asked. Dean sighed.

"Yeah, I know him. Figures. Listen, uh, Michael-"

"Michael?!" Cas yelled. Dean jumped and almost dropped the phone.

"Uh, hang on." Dean murmered, taking the phone from his ear.

"Hey, Cas? Hey, good or bad? Is something wrong?" Dean asked quickly. Cas had buried his face in his pillows and wouldn't move. Dean got up and went to the side of Cas' bed, where he had decided to sleep earlier that night, instead of with Dean.

"Cas, sit up sweetheart, talk to me." Dean said quietly.

Cas slowly sat up. He made a high pitched whine, and grinned a little. Dean breathed in relief as soon as he did. Not bad then.

"I like Michael. Will he come back now?" Cas asked. Dean chuckled and held the phone to his ear again.

"Michael, I think we have a mutual friend." Dean grinned. He heard laughter on the other end and felt another bit of tension ease away.

 _"I think we do. Mind if I talk to him?"_ Michael asked.

Just like that Dean was on guard again. Like hell was he gonna let some ex, or some doctor, or any other number of things this person could be, talk to his Cas. He had just barely gotten him back in routine after the incident at work, he didn't need something else bad.

"Listen, all due respect, I can't do that. I need to know what your connection is-"

 _"He's my brother."_ Michael interrupted. Deans brain flew out through his ears. He had no comeback whatsoever.

 _"Gabriel told me you'd be protective. I mean, he actually said 'giant worry-wart dickhead boyfriend', or something like that, but whatever."_   Michael chuckled.

"I- yeah. Sorry." Dean stammered.

_"So, can I talk to him?"_

Dean looked over. Cas was leaning towards the phone, trying to listen in. He did look pretty excited.

"Yeah, alright. Just, be..."

 _"I know."_   Michael said gently. Dean, satisfied, pushed the speaker button and put the phone on the bed by Cas' leg.

"I- hi! Mike!" Cas said. He started to bounce up and down a little, and Dean smiled.

 _"Hey! There's my favorite little brother! Man, I'm so sorry I haven't called you."_   Michael said.

"Where? Ok?" Cas said. Dean squinted in confusion at Cas, but he wasn't looking up. Instead, he was focused on the phone, staring at it and wringing his hands together, waiting for an answer.

 _"I uh... I'm coming back now. We we're stationed in Baghdad, and I got a little hurt. I need some therapy, so I'm coming to stay with Gabriel."_   Michael said. His voice was strained, like he was upset, and Cas knew immediately.

"Sorry. I'm sorry. You'll be ok right?" Cas asked.

 _"Yeah, I'll be ok. I've got my arms and legs, just also got a bad burn. It's healing ok though."_ Michael assured him.

"Therapy?"

_"Not for the burn."_

The room got quiet, and Dean suddenly felt like he was intruding when Cas reached out and took his hand. He waited as Cas took a breath and picked up the phone.

"Nightmares?" Cas whispered. It took a second, but Dean heard the sigh on the other line as he gave up.

 _"Yeah."_ Michael admitted. Cas nodded even though he couldn't see.

"Visit?"

 _"Yeah, if that's ok with Dean. I'll be in by tomorrow- in town I mean. Gabriel will help me with suitcases, and then we can stop by whenever."_   Michael said, glad for the subject change. Cas smiled, seemingly feeling the same. He let go of Deans hand again in favor of moving it around excitedly.

"Good, you'll visit." He grinned. He bounced again, and looked at Dean.

"Michael will visit. Can he visit? Please?" Cas asked. He looked at Dean with his best puppy eyes, and Dean laughed.

"Course he can, long as it's ok with you. He'll need to tell me when they plan on showing up though, so I can make something for dinner." Dean said. Cas nodded.

"Did you hear?" Cas asked.

 _"I did. I'll try to be there by five, but if anything changes I'll let you guys know."_   Michael said.

"Ok, ok, good. Tomorrow!" Cas squealed.

"Ok, that's probably enough for now. Take a few deep breaths Cas." Dean said. He heard Michael laugh, as Cas sucked in much needed oxygen.

 _"He's right, I need to go anyway. Flights are boarding. I'll see you soon Cas."_   Michael said happily. Cas whined and waved at the phone.

"Say bye." Dean reminded him.

"Bye!" Cas yelled. Dean hung his head, but Cas just kept waving as the phone hung up.

"Ok, alright. Lay back down. You need lots of rest if your brothers are coming. I didn't even know you had another brother." Dean said. Cas nodded and bounced in his spot.

"Two parents, two brothers, an aunt, and three cousins. My father is Chuck, and Naomi is my mother. And there's auntie, she's not my aunt, she's my moms friend that we have to call auntie. And there's a different aunt, but we don't talk to her much. Gabriel, Michael, they're my brothers. Anna and Gadreel, and, Balthazar, they're cousins. But Balthazar is my step cousin. Balthazar is from Britain." Cas said. He was smiling like a lunatic, and Dean just shook his head, storing all the information for later.

"Ok, well that's good to know. Why don't you lay down now." Dean said. Cas did, but Dean was sure it was a robotic movement, that he wasn't paying attention at all.

"Cas, I'm serious. Try to get some sleep." Dean said. Cas' eyes focused on him, and he nodded.

"Ok Dean." Cas said. He laid back on his pillows, still moving around his feet, but Dean was satisfied. He smiled and laid back down in his own bed, then plugged his phone back in to charge.

"Goodnight again." Dean said.

"Night." Cas said distractedly. He was too busy thinking about Michael to register when memories became dreams.

 

* * *

 

"Gabe, stop." Michael growled. Again he felt small toes track up his thigh.

"I'll call mom." He whispered. Gabriel say up in his seat and took a huge bite of porkchop, then leaned back down to annoy him more.

"No you won't. She'll yell at you." Gabriel grinned, showing off his missing teeth. It was true, Michael was the oldest, and "little Gabe wouldn't hurt a fly, you're just jealous.". One day she'd learn.

"Fine, then I'll shove potatoes down your shirt." Michael said.

"How will you 'splain that to mom?" Gabriel laughed.

"I'll tell her the truth and go to bed happy, knowing you'll smell like butter and potato all week!" Michael grinned.

"Well I'll put broccoli in your shoes!"

"And I'll pour the gravy in your stupid hair!"

Gabriel stopped and his smile fell a little. Michael took a bite of his porkchop and waited for Gabriel to laugh, but he didn't.

"You think my hair is stupid?" Gabriel asked quietly. Michaels eyebrows shot up.

"Look, I'm sorry, don't cry-"

"Sucker!" Gabriel yelled. He put his hand in his mashed potatoes and threw the wad at Michael, who ducked just in time. He smiled challengingly.

"You'll pay for that." Michael said, picking up his cup.

Gabriel didn't have time to prepare as the rest of the sweet tea hit his face. Michael cackled, but immediately felt his face heat up as potatoes were shoved all over it. He grabbed the broccoli and managed to get some down his brothers pants, then it was all out war.

Potatoes went flying, as did gravy. The porkchops were used as bats to hit each other with, and the grease stained their shirts. The broccoli was thrown like darts, and finally they had run out of ammunition. Until...

"The cake?!" Gabriel yelled. Michael grinned as he held the chocolate monstrosity over his smaller brother. He'd never been too fond of sweets, but Gabriel would be begging at his feet any minute.

"Just put it down. I want that later!" Gabriel whined.

"Admit I won!" Michael said. Gabriel pouted.

"Are you seriously going to cry if I throw the cake?" Michael asked. Gabriel nodded. Michael put it back on the table, instead burying his fist in and taking a chunk.

"What about... This!" Michael laughed.

He turned to shove it in Gabriels face, only to shove it directly into his mothers breasts. Chocolate smeared down her shirt, and both of them stilled.

"You didn't think to stop this?!" Naomi yelled. Their father, Chuck, shrugged from his seat at the table.

"They don't listen. I thought I'd let them get it out of their system and clean up later." He said quietly, if a little jittery. His arranged wife scared him. They were only together now to keep the rich families at peace and adopt kids for the media, even if he did love the children more then any fame.

"You will both be cleaning up. Now. Gabriel, to your room." Naomi said.

"But he started it!" Michael protested.

"Now why would I believe that?" She asked.

"Naomi-" Chuck tried.

"No! Gabriel, room!" She yelled. Oh, she would learn.

 

* * *

 

Cas blinked awake blearily. Why had he woken up? That was a good dream. How he imagined it. Michael had told him that story a long time ago.

He sighed and turned over. Dean was still asleep. Cas pushed his head back into his pillows and shut his eyes.

 

* * *

 

"Where is he?!" Gabriel yelled.

"In the back with your father, don't yell. That child has been crying the whole way home." Naomi snapped.

Both Gabriel and Michael bolted to the door, then out to the driveway. Their worn car sat next to the sparkling one, the one Naomi always drove to important events. Sure enough, in the back was Chuck, trying to hold the new baby, no more then a year old, if that.

Gabriel could already tell this kid was feisty. He was kicking and screaming, thrashing in his grip, and Chuck looked like he had gotten kicked at least once if his watery eye was anything to go by.

"Please stop, please hush." Chuck begged, as Michael flung open the car door.

"Let me see the squirt." Michael laughed. Chuck handed him over hesitantly, and slid out of the car, shutting the door behind him. When the door slammed, the baby, Castiel they had been told, screamed even louder.

"Hey, it's ok. Hush, hush, hush." Michael said quietly. He held him against his chest, and after a tense moment, Castiel became completely silent.

"He likes you." Gabriel grinned.

"Does that mean he doesn't like me?" Chuck asked quickly. Gabriel sniggered and Michael shot him a look.

"More likely he doesn't like the car. Here, try again-"

"No, it's my turn!" Gabriel interrupted, bouncing in front of his father. Castiel squealed as he was transferred, but he became silent again as Gabriel held him in the same position.

"Alright, now that he's quiet... Say hi to the family." Naomi said. She had brought out their video camera, and Gabriel groaned.

"Really? Do we have to?" Gabriel whined. Castiel, too, let out an undignified yell, and kicked at Gabriel's side.

"Ok, alright, my turn again." Michael said. He took him before Gabriel could protest, and lifted him in the air.

"Who's a happy camper, huh?" Michael grinned, lifting him up higher. Castiel immediately screamed. He started to blubber, and Michael pulled him back to his chest.

"Ok, alright, not a fan of airplane then. Say hi to your mom, wave at the camera little Castiel." Michael cooed. He turned them so Gabriel could be in the shot too, and Gabriel quickly picked up his hand.

"Wave hello, say hi!" He smiled. Castiel kicked at Michaels side and tried to pull his hand away, and Naomi moved the camera to where Chuck was standing, watching the scene unfold. He took a deep breath, seemingly staving off an anxiety attack, before smiling and waving at the camera.

"Alright boys, time to get his crib set up." Naomi said.

"Come on! That's your job!" Gabriel whined.

 

* * *

 

Cas sat up again, this time slightly panicked. He remembered that story. And that tape. They would play it over and over. He didn't remember much about the act of watching it, but he did remember the whole tape, down to every detail. He still had it. It had been put on a disc now.

Cas took a few deep breaths, and rolled over. It wasn't the mention of his full name that had startled him. It was something else. He just couldn't remember. Something...

He drifted in between sleep and wakefulness again.

 

* * *

 

"You can't make us go anywhere!" Gabriel yelled.

"I can and I will. Now if you don't pack your bags, I'll do it for you. Michael, say something!" Naomi snapped.

"Mom... You know I want to go to college, but for something else. Maybe I could be a doctor. I mean, military academy? Isn't that a bit much?" Michael said quietly.

"Don't side with him, you always knew you would follow your fathers steps." Naomi snapped.

"He has permanent damage from that! From a few months of being at war! Do you want us killed?!" Gabriel yelled.

"I'm here!" Chuck screamed, making them all fall silent for a moment. He was crying, and when they did go quiet, he hit play on the remote once more.

Cas jerked in his sleep. He remembered now. He was watching the tape. He was sitting beside his father on the couch. His father was shaking, and he could hear the yelling behind them both.

"I will fix you. I will fix this subordinate streak you have going, before it's too late. Michael learned early on-"

"Michael was a soldier to you all along! I won't be that! I'll be my own person, and I'll grow up, and I'll take Castiel with me too! He won't get to see how bad you really are!" Gabriel yelled.

"You listen here, if you say one more word-"

"Screw one more word, I'm not done! Michael knows I'm right, dad knows I'm right, and if Castiel had a developed brain yet, he's know I'm right too! You are a sick, controlling, manipulative bitch! You only want power and money, and you've got the money. Your 'power' has always come from bossing us around, and now that you have Castiel, you want us out of the picture!" Gabriel yelled. Naomi gasped so quickly she coughed, and Michael chuckled.

"What's so funny to you?!"

"He's made a point, and with all this out in the air, I think I should add to it. I think he's right, about everything. You know, he's always been like this. You just never wanted to accept it. I told you from the very beginning. He's not going through some phase, it's just him." Michael finished. Naomi's hands made fists, and Gabriel matched her.

"You gonna hit me?! Do it! Then we can have a reason to leave!" Gabriel taunted.

"Please don't..." Chuck whimpered.

As quickly as he had made the threat, Naomi swung. Her palm stung when it hit Gabriel's face, and Michael threw himself in front of him.

"Get away from him. I won't hesitate to put you down to protect him." Michael growled. Her eyes widened, and it seemed she took his threat seriously, because she smiled.

"I knew you were meant for the military. I'm going to pack your bags first." She hissed, pointing at Gabriel. Her heels clicked on the floor, and all the way up the hardwood stairs, until she reached Gabriel's room. The lock turned, and the sound of drawers being flung out erupted.

Michael turned on his heels and immediately his hands were on Gabriel's face. He struggled, but Michael held firmly to him.

"Are you ok? She didn't get you hard did she?" He asked quickly.

"Nah, she swings pretty weak. All she lifts are shopping bags." Gabriel chuckled. His eyes were filling with tears though, and Michael pulled him into his chest.

"Come sit by dad." Michael said quietly. Gabriel obeyed, and pulled Castiel into his lap. Michael sat between them and put an arm over Gabriels shoulder.

"Dad, you ok?" Michael asked quietly.

"Said she wouldn't do it to you! Promised! Only me!" He said loudly, leaning towards Michael. He took a long breath and pulled both Chuck and Gabriel into him, letting Castiel crawl into his lap and lay down.

"Dad, I didn't mean-" Gabriel started.

"S'alright... I know. I know I'm not right." Chuck said quietly. Gabriel felt the lump in his throat and didn't say anything to correct him, as he took large, panting breaths.

"Dad, breathe." Michael said quietly. He did, as another sound from upstairs shook their house.

"When we leave, Gabriel, I'll only be across the campus. You'll be able to skip classes and go to my dorm whenever you need to." Michael joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"What about Castiel?" Gabriel said quietly. His voice stuttered, and he sniffed, trying not to cry.

"I'll keep him safe." Chuck said quietly.

"What if she just yells at you more? Or slaps you?"

"It's ok... If it keep the families happy, and the baby safe, I'll be ok. I'm your father, you shouldn't worry about me." Chuck said

"But you're never happy! And you get sick, and you start breathin' funny, and you mumble about war stuff sometimes! She'll hurt you if we're not here!" Gabriel yelled. Michael shushed him, and Chuck crushed his eyelids together.

"It's ok... Not a lot. Very rarity will she actually swing. You'll be fine. I'll be fine." Chuck mumbled.

 

* * *

 

Cas jumped, and sat up in a cold sweat. He felt his heart beating too fast, and his breath quicken. The dream, this dream, bad, bad, bad. He hadn't thought of in... Ever.

He was remembering now. Was his brain making it up? He remembered the school fight, he remembered, but the rest? His father, where was his father? At home, he had never left. He hadn't left. He wasn't safe. Had his mother... Been like him?

Bartholomew's voice echoed in his head. He felt the whip against his face, and remembered the stinging sound in his dream. He looked up and could see the tears on his fathers face, could feel them on his own cheeks. Bad, bad, bad.

"Dean!" Cas yelled. Dean nearly fell out of bed from sitting up so fast, and immediately grabbed his head as he started to see stars.

"Here!" Cas yelled. Dean did like he said, getting up and crawling into Cas' bed quickly.

"What's wrong? Hey, what's wrong? Easy now." Dean said. Cas realized he was flapping his hands, and rocking a little, but he didn't care.

"Hey, come on now, let your hands be birds, let 'em fly away-"

"Bartholomew is mother!" Cas yelled.

Dean tensed and took Cas' hands in his. Cas struggled, but Dean held him firmly.

"Cas, snap out of it. Bartholomew isn't here. Listen, Cas? Can you hear me? Cas?!" Dean snapped. Cas nodded furiously, and Dean let go of his wrists.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I had to make sure you weren't going into a fit. Cas listen to my voice. You hear me? Bartholomew isn't here. You're safe." Dean said quickly.

"My dad!" Cas yelled.

"Your dad- your dad? What about your dad?" Dean asked. He raised his hand to ask, but Cas leaned away. He didn't want to be touched.

"Trouble."

"He's trouble?"

"In!"

"In... In trouble? Your dad is in trouble?" Dean asked. Cas nodded frantically and whined.

"Cas, listen, you've been asleep. You've been dreaming. Anything in that big brain 'a yours isn't actually happening right now, ok? Your dad is safe." Dean said calmly.

"No! No! No! Mother! Barth- Bartholo-" Cas tried to get the words out, but his fists were hitting the bed, and he was losing his breath. Deans voice became muffled in his ears, before in cleared again, and he was taking gasping breaths.

"There you go, breathe with me. Breathe, breathe, breathe. Deep breaths. In and out. You're ok, you're alright." Dean eased. Cas reached out, and Dean let him squeeze his hand as hard as he could.

"Memories..." Cas mumbled, before whining again. Talking was becoming a struggle.

"What about them?" Dean asked.

"Dream. Remembered. Bad." Cas said. He clenched his jaws together until the sound of his teeth squeaking echoed in the room, and Dean squeezed his hand back.

"Easy now, let those teeth have some room, ok? Don't want to hurt them." Dean smiled. Cas stared at his eyes. They were scared eyes.

"Remembered. Mother. Like Bartholomew." Cas spat. He whined, long and low, and squeezed Deans hand until he winced.

"Cas, did she- shit, easy there, did she hurt you?" Dean asked, looking between Cas and his hand.

"Gabe! Dad!" Cas yelled, letting go of Deans hand.

He felt his hands flying, then he felt the pain his temple. Deans yell pushed through the static in his brain, and registered that he was telling him to stop, but he couldn't. He felt firm fingers hold his wrist, and tried to escape on instinct, but he happened to look up.

Dean. Dean was holding him. Dean was sitting on top of him. Dean was crushing him. Dean was helping him. Deans not bad. Not bad. Not bad. Good. Green. Good. Dean.

"Can't-"

"I know, I know, I got you. I got your hands now. Focus on breathing Cas. Try to breathe sweetheart. Listen to my voice. Breathe Cas." Dean instructed.

"Off-" Cas coughed, and instantly the weight on his torso left. He took a deep breath, and but Dean didn't let go of his wrists. His arms were still trying to pull away.

"Why?" Cas asked, looking at his arms. Dean chuckled despite the situation.

"Those birds got pretty angry, huh? They tried to peck you head. I had to stop 'em." Dean said. He still had scared eyes.

"Sorry..." Cas whined. His arms finally settling a little as the energy left him. He took a deep breath, and Dean laid down beside him.

"I'm going to let these birds go now. You think they'll be ok?" Dean asked.

"Fly away." Cas nodded. Dean let his wrists go, and Cas wrapped his arms around Dean quickly.

"Sorry-"

"Don't be, Cas. It's not your fault you got a little out of control. You got really scared. I'm going to say something about what happened now, and if your hands get carried away, I'm going to hold you again, alright?" Dean said. Cas whined, but nodded.

"You had a dream, a- a memory. You remembered you mom hurting somebody. You said Gabriel? Or your dad? Both?"

"Gabriel. Father... Never saw." Cas said.

"Why do you think he has anything to do with it?" Dean asked.

"Said... She promised only him, not Gabe. But hit Gabe anyway. No more!" Cas said quickly. He buried his face in Deans chest, and Dean opened his arms so he could scoot closer.

"Hug?" Dean asked. Cas nodded, and Dean put his arms around him.

"Do you think Michael coming over made you remember?" Dean asked. Cas nodded again.

"Is it a good idea for him to come? Do you think you'll be ok?" Dean asked. Again, Cas nodded, this time quicker.

"Then here's what we're going to do. We're going to go back to sleep, and if you have any more bad dreams, you wake me up. Tomorrow, we'll see if Gabriel or Michael have a current phone number for your dad. Deal?"

That sounded like a good deal. But what if his mother picked up? He didn't want her knowing where he was, or Dean's phone number.

"No call. Mother will hear." Cas whispered.

"Ok, we'll find another way. Go to sleep sweetheart, close your eyes. Take some deep breaths now." Dean said.

"Sing?"

Deans laugh rumbled through his chest, before the gentle hum started, and Cas pressed his ear closer. He felt his eyelids drooping.

 

* * *

 

"Why are you staring like that?" Naomi asked.

"He's staring at me."

"He's- he's a baby. They do that to pick up information." Chuck said. Still, he just shook his head.

"No, that's not normal. There's something up with him. I mean, why doesn't he talk?"

"He's just quiet." Chuck reasoned.

"Yes, except when anyone touches him. Come do you homework." Naomi snapped.

Jimmy scowled down into the playpen one last time before going back to the table.

"You mean read the bible? Like you do so much, mother?"

 

* * *

 

Cas rolled over in his sleep, and his eyes popped open. Who was that? Was that real? His father and mother were there. It was himself- maybe.

It was his face. So that wasn't real. His face was on him, and he was in a baby pen. That dream must have been his brain making things up, like his dream about being a penguin, that he had a week ago.

He turned over and wrapped his arm around Deans back, putting the other under his pillow. Dean was warm, perfectly warm, and if he put his nose on Deans neck, he could feel his steady pulse. He could hear his steady breath, and feel his chest rise and fall.

It was enough of a heartbeat to put him to sleep once more.

 

* * *

 

"I just can't believe you're going to stay at that awful school, much less actually go to the military." Gabe said quietly.

 _"I have to. Otherwise it'll be you. Besides, I can be a ride along medic. The courses around here are actually really interesting. It isn't all about killing, it's also about protecting. I'll be ok, I promise. You can call me whenever you need, just like now."_  Michael chuckled.

It was three in the morning, and Castiel had started to cry. When they were gone, Chuck moved to the guest bedroom and kept Castiel in the bed with him. It had been a long year. Since Gabriel had moved back in, Chuck had suggested Gabriel watch him. He always did like Michaels voice though.

"It's just... You're only twenty. What if you... Y'know."

 _"Gabe, I won't die. I promise, and I'll be at school for a long time before I go anywhere, anyway. You'll be fine."_ Michael said.

"What if mom-"

 _"If mom does anything, I'll be out of school, or off the battlefield, and taking a plane home within the day."_   Michael growled. Gabriel nodded, but from his crib, Castiel tilted his head. He didn't understand the harsh tone, and Gabriel smiled.

"Will you talk to Cassie?" Gabriel asked.

 _"Course, put me in the crib, he'll hang up when he wants to. You get some sleep, alright?"_ Michael said.

Indeed Castiel would hang up. He didn't say a word usually, sometimes spitting out a short "Mi!" or other variant; when he was done however, he would put his head down on his pillow and simply end the call. They both thought it was funny, even if their mother hated the phone bill from times when he didn't want to hang up at all. Still, Gabriel handed the phone to Castiel, and he took it in his little hands.

"Goodnight Michael, thank you." Gabriel said, leaning in.

"Night Cas." He added.

 

* * *

 

Cas opened his eyes blearily and sighed. Why did he keep having memories? Would it keep happening? It was only four thirty seven. He liked early, but not so early.

 

* * *

 

"I don't want to hear another word about it." Naomi snapped.

"No, you need to! Can't you see he's in pain? Why do you do this to him?!" Gabriel asked furiously.

Cas was only five, but he still had a strong voice. His humming was loud, and his fists were balled up around the baby straps in his car seat. He was trying to rock back and forth, but the restraint of the straps were too tight to let him move.

Chuck was no better. With the noise, his fists were balled in the seat belt at his waist, and he was breathing hard. Gabriel leaned up and put a hand on his shoulder. Chuck put his hand over Gabriel's quickly.

"Castiel needs to learn how to function. If baby straps keep him from throwing those tantrums of his, then so be it." Naomi said.

"They aren't tantrums, you know that. You never listen to the doctors." Gabriel spat.

"I know what they said, and I know my children. If I think he's having some, some brain dead episode, I'll tell you, but he's not. This is a fit to get what he wants, and nothing more."

"They called it autism, not brain dead episodes." Chuck snapped. Naomi looked over towards him, but didn't say anything. In his seat, Castiel slumped back and gave up, starting to cry and tap his hand on the door.

"Cassie? Castiel? You ok?" Gabriel whispered. He threw his arm out without opening his eyes, and although it had almost hit him, Gabriel held his hand.

"Dad, why can't I just stay home with him?" Gabriel asked.

"Chuck isn't going to answer you, because I've told you the answer already. We are not skipping church. Now we are a minute away, if you would just be quiet about it!" Naomi yelled.

Castiel whined loudly at her volume, and punched the door. Gabriel quickly grabbed his hands, and he struggled, but Gabriel didn't let go.

"We're almost there. I see the building. Just try to calm down." Gabriel whispered. Castiel opened his eyes and looked at him.

"Stop." He said quietly.

"Fine." Gabriel relented, letting go of him, but Castiel quickly reached out and grabbed his hands again.

"Stop."

"Stop what?" Gabriel asked. Castiel turned his head towards Naomi and then back towards Gabriel paling face.

"Make. Stop."

It wasn't often that Castiel spoke. In fact, that's why they had gone to a few doctors in the first place. At the broken sentence, Gabriel felt his heart beat faster. He looked into Castiels eyes, and although he looked away quickly, he had seen the defeat lingering there.

"I'm trying." Gabriel whispered. Castiel looked up again.

"I'm trying to help you, and I won't stop trying, I promise-"

"Stop saying those things. We're here." Naomi snapped. As soon as the car stopped, Gabriel went to I clip the buckles around Castiels chest and crotch but Naomi turned around and swatted his hand away.

"Wait here." She said. Chuck stayed put as well, practically grinding his teeth as she got out and opened the trunk.

"What is she doing?" Gabriel asked.

"I-I'm sorry, I couldn't stop her." Chuck said quietly.

"Couldn't stop what?"

Castiels door flew open, and Gabriel saw what she meant. There was a wheelchair sitting outside. She leaned in and unbuckled his straps, and before Gabriel could stop her, she was pulling Castiel from the car. He fought, grabbing at his car seat, then the door, but she managed to shove him in the chair anyway.

"If he is going to throw these fits, and scuff his knees, and roll in the grass, then he will not be allowed to walk inside." Naomi growled. Gabriel got out quickly and tried to stop her, but she pushed him back.

"Don't try to stop this. It will help him." Naomi said. She was eerily calm as she strapped his hands down to the arms of the chair, with Velcro straps.

"How the fuck will this help him?!" Gabriel yelled.

"To fix him! Do not curse on church property!" She yelled back.

Castiel screamed. He screamed as loud as he could, and he started to kick his legs. Gabriel was thinking of just pushing her down and running with Cas, but Chuck appeared at his side.

"He can sleep in my room tonight." Chuck said quietly. He knew his dad was trying to help, as he put a hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you, but I think I can watch him."

"Please let him stay with me tonight." Chuck said instead. The grip on his shoulder tightened.

"Honestly Charles, you're making this worse. If you wake me up with your nightmares again-"

"Naomi, shut the fuck up." Gabriel snarled. Her eyes flared, but she turned on her heels and walked towards the church, pushing Castiels chair along.

"We'll both stay with you." Gabriel said, before following her in.

As they entered, it was clear they had missed the first prayer, but worship was still going. Castiel calmed at the sound of everyone singing, and Gabriel breathed in relief. Still, as they stood there, he knew something wasn't right. Castiel was too quiet. He was planning something.

Just as Gabriel thought, the singing was interrupted by yells. Everyone slowly quieted and turned to look, but Gabriel smiled. Castiel was yelling along to the tune of the song. There were no words, but he was trying. Chuck looked impressed too, but Naomi looked furious.

"Get that broken child out of here!" She yelled, making a few people in the room gasp.

"He's not broken, he just wants to sing." Chuck said angrily.

"You call that singing?! That's just yelling!"

"Well maybe he's yelling because you tied him to this stupid chair with velcro!" Gabriel yelled.

Everyone in the church was split between silence and horrified murmuring. Gabriel smirked and pushed Castiels chair out of the row, and once they were out, Chuck slid out as well.

"We don't need to hurt him to help him, 'mother' dear." Gabriel spat.

He leaned down and unstrapped the Velcro, and instantly Castiel was jumping up and hugging him. It was odd, he never liked contact, but he sure wasn't complaining. He hefted Castiel up as he started to cry, and Chuck took the velcro off the chair disgustedly.

"We um- we won't need these. Anymore. I think I'm going to take them home. Will you get a ride- or- or I could come back?" Chuck said quietly. Naomi scowled.

"I will get a ride from someone else here." Naomi said angrily. Chuck ducked his head and nodded, before putting a hand on Gabriel's back and leading them out.

As they neared the car, Chuck ran forward. In a show of surprising anger, he opened the back door and threw Castiels car seat out. He then took a breath and ushered them in. Castiel took one look back towards the car seat, then climbed in the car.

The ride back was too calm, with Castiel almost catatonic, his head on Gabriel's shoulder, his hands in fists around the seat belt. Every so often he would whimper when they hit a bump, or someone honked. They were going too slow to be acceptable, but Chuck wasn't going to speed up.

As they pulled into their driveway, Castiel sat up blearily and blinded at Gabriel. He took his hand, and Castiel nodded. Gabriel reached across and unbuckled them, and they had to let go to get out, but quickly Castiel had latched on again.

"Father." Castiel said quietly. Chuck turned in surprise.

"Yes?" He said, crouching down. Castiel ran forward and launched himself into Chuck, grabbing his neck so he could be carried.

"Ok, a-alright. Yes." Chuck said, lifting him up. He looked back towards Gabriel, and without asking, Gabriel knew to follow.

He led them to his room, where he laid Castiel on the bed, and helped him take off his shoes. Just shoes, he hated the feeling of socks. Gabriel crawled stripped down to his undershirt, throwing the tailors suit away in disgust. Chuck did the same, and Castiel watched, tilting his head.

"Your turn. Stand up." Chuck said. Gabriel left the room to go get Castiel his pajamas, and get pants for himself, while Chuck undressed the younger boy. He put up no fight whatsoever, like he had putting it on. By the time Gabriel was back, he was undressed.

"Here, put these on." Gabriel said. He handed him the pajamas, and while he put them on, Gabriel put on his own pants. Chuck walked to the dresser and pulled on pants of his own, then crawled into bed.

"I need to take a rest guys." He said, without turning over. Castiel crawled up to his back and hugged him, making him freeze up.

"Why!" He yelled. Chuck jumped, and Gabriel quickly crawled across the bed to pull him off, in case he started hitting.

"Why what?" Chuck asked.

"She." Castiel said, more quietly.

"Can you not talk?" Chuck asked. He turned over to face him, and Castiel looked away from him. Gabriel laid down behind Castiel, ready to take a nap as well.

"Talk... Hard!" Cas said angrily. Chuck nodded.

"Gabriel, we need to begin teaching him to sign." Chuck said, without hesitation.

"Is it still a secret?" Gabriel asked. Chuck nodded.

"Ok... Ok, Cas. We'll show you a different way to talk." Gabriel said. Castiel nodded and moved forward, burying his face in Chucks shirt.

"Thump, thump, thump." He whispered. Gabriel chuckled.

"We know, it's ok. You can listen." Chuck said. Gabriel smiled as he laid down.

"I don't know why she does it Cassie, but we'll keep you safe." Gabriel said.

 

* * *

 

Cas sat up in bed, missing the heartbeat. He looked around, and his heart jumped to his throat for a moment, until he saw Dean walk into the room.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, bathroom. Did I scare you?" Dean asked. It was only then that he noticed the sound he was making.

"More dreams." He muttered.

"Good or bad?" Dean asked.

"Bad. Ok." Cas said, holding out his arms. Dean smiled and got back into bed, hugging Castiel to his chest like he wanted.

"As long as your ok. We'll have to talk about them at some point though. I don't want it to make you anxious." Dean said. Cas nodded.

"Goodnight." He said.

"Goodnight again Cas." Dean said quietly.

 

* * *

 

"Castiel, eat." Naomi said.

"Don't feel good." Castiel repeated. He had been saying it all day, and she wouldn't listen.

"You have to eat darlin', it's hardly going to hurt you. It's thanksgiving, it's tradition." Aunt Rowena cooed.

"Do you want to try my stuffing?"

"No!" Castiel yelled, breathing hard.

"Aunt Ro- auntie, he doesn't like stuffing. Castiel, you're getting pale, let's get you to your room." Michael said, standing up. Castiels stomach lurched.

"Would you like me to make him some hot tea? I'm sure that would help." She said nicely. He screamed.

"Castiel Milton Novak, sit down!" Naomi yelled. Rowena sipped her wine and rolled her eyes, and Chuck covered his ears.

"Cas, what's wrong?!" Gabriel asked, running around the table to him. Castiel wobbled and his vision blurred, and both brothers grabbed an arm.

"Bathroom, right now." Michael said, almost dragging him. Gabriel saw him raise his hands to his throat, then go to reach out, to try to hit.

"Castiel, let go." Gabriel said.

They didn't get to the toilet. Instead, the bathtub. He projected, and cried while doing it, something Gabriel didn't know was exactly possible. Michael held his waist, as he had given up on holding himself up, and Gabriel held his arms back from his face.

As he finished dry heaving, Michael pulled him back against his chest, and Castiel slumped back. Gabriel dropped his arms.

"Holy shit, he's not awake."

"What?" Michael asked, turning Castiel towards him. He wiped his mouth with his own sleeve, not caring, focusing on the eyes that were closed.

"Did he choke?!" Gabriel yelled.

"I don't know!" Michael yelled. Castiel whimpered.

"Cas?!" Gabe yelled.

"Help." He whimpered.

"Ok, not dead, not unconscious. Good." Gabriel breathed.

"Help." He cried again, tears forming. He didn't move a muscle, just laid against Michael limply as the tears fell down his cheeks.

"Ok, alright, aw buddy." Michael said sadly. He put his bigger hand on the back of Cas' head and turned his body so he could hold him. He ran his fingers through his hair like he knew Castiel enjoyed, while Gabriel began rinsing the bathtub. Cas was almost twenty, but he always reminded him of the little kid he used to be.

"You'll be ok, it's over now. It's over. It's over. Do you want to go to bed?" Michael asked. Castiel didn't answer, so he stayed still.

"I'm going to go tell dad what happened. He'll want to sanitize." Gabriel said. Cas nodded.

"All."

"Got it, sanitize all of it." Gabriel said, smiling a little.

 

* * *

 

Cas sat up feeling unwell. The dream had felt real. He stood up out of bed and started to pace, pulling out of Deans arms in the process.

"Cas?"

"Don't feel good. Dreams." He said quietly.

"Ok, uh... How do you feel?" Dean asked sleepily.

"Not sick. A little." Cas said.

"Did you have a dream about getting sick?" Dean asked. He rubbed his face, and Cas looked away sadly. He didn't want to bother deans sleep. This had happened before several times; waking up feeling queazy.

"Cas, come lay back." Dean said. He stopped pacing and turned around. Dean had rearranged his pillows so he could sleep sitting up. Then the stomach stuff didn't touch his throat. The acid.

"Thank you." Cas said quietly.

"Your welcome. Now for goodness sakes, go to sleep. It's only five it the morning." Dean said.

"Can I stay up?" Cas asked. Dean smiled at him and held up a hand. Cas nodded and he ran his hand through his hair. Cas shivered at the feeling.

"You need your rest. Just a little longer." Dean said. Cas nodded and laid his head back. Dean slid down and put his face on Cas' chest.

"Goodnight Dean."

 

* * *

 

"Cas, keep loading boxes." Gabriel growled.

"You are not leaving here with him." Naomi said sternly.

"Yes I am. You know why? Because I've waited until his birthday to take him away, that's why I've stayed here. But you know what Naomi, I've been paying for a building up in the city for a month now. We'll live there. We'll build a business. I'll take care of him. Not like you." Gabriel snapped. Castiel stood in the doorway, watching them argue.

"How many times have I told you to call me mother?! At least mom! Not Naomi!" She yelled. Castiel sank back towards the door.

"No, you won't ever get that respect. Dad gets that respect. Not you." Gabriel said coldly.

Chuck came down the stairs with another box of clothes, rocks, and paints. They had thrown everything together last night. He pushed Castiel out the door.

"This is the last one." Chuck said, once they were outside.

"Dad. You're my father." Cas said bluntly.

"Yes, I am."

"Put the box in the car please." Castiel said. He did so, and then walked back over to him, where he had an iron grip on the door handle.

"What is it?"

"I don't like cats." He whined.

"And?"

"I'll miss you!" Cas yelled. He crashed into Chuck as he hugged him, almost knocking him over. Chuck grabbed back and held on just as tight as tears formed in his eyes.

"I-I'll miss you too." Chuck stuttered.

They stood there together for as long as they could, before the yelling burst into the yard. Castiel took a gasping breath and jumped in the car like Gabriel had told him to. He pushed the lock down and buckled, then held a hand to the window. Chuck put his over it.

"I'll call you, I promise. I love you, both of you." Chuck said quickly. Gabriel ran forward and hugged him, before rushing to the drivers seat so that Naomi didn't. He pushed his door lock down as well, as she started to pound on the window. Castiel covered his ears as they started to move.

"Don't worry little brother. We're going somewhere you'll like. There's a college, and a library, and even a hospital, in relative walking distance. It'll be great. Just you and me." Gabriel said.

"Dad!" Castiel yelled. Gabriel looked over at him, teary eyed.

"He'll be ok. We'll be ok Cas."

 

* * *

 

The sun was up, but the bed was cold. He could feel tears in his eyes, and looked around. Dean must be making breakfast.

He wiped his face and stood up out of bed, stretching. Then, he went to the closet and pushed off his underwear, pulling on his skirt instead. He grabbed his bear, and headed to the kitchen.

"Hey sweetheart- you ok?" Dean asked.

"I want to tell you my dreams now. And I want my father."

**Author's Note:**

> Yay! So Michael is coming over! And is Chuck in trouble? Where is the mysterious Jimmy? Will Gabriel know about him? Thank you for reading! :D


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